Grief is personal. It is hard. Grief takes time.

Grief is hard!  Lately, so many of my friends are burying and grieving their parents. Does it mean I am in a new season of life?  Some losses are expected and some lives are tragically cut short.  I have had my share of losing people, relationships, or things I loved and held dear.

Grief of all Kinds

No one else knows what the loss was like for you, but you. Not your siblings, not your co-workers, not your pastor, not even your spouse.  Even if they are also grieving, your grief is all your own.   As is your recovery.  Time is important, it can take a full year, or more even to really process it all.  Factors that exacerbate grief:  it was sudden, brings financial insecurity, or not local to you.  Needing to seek or give forgiveness adds another layer to deal with.  I’ve also blogged about that. Lorri Gail Moffatt, blog It will come in waves, sprinkles and torrential downpours. Triggers can be smells, a song, a familiar car, Facebook time-hop, seeing someone who looks just like them from behind at a store or in a car, birthdays or anniversaries, and when someone new learns of your loss and reaches out to you.

Recovery

People have to be left to grieve in their own way, at their own pace.  A friend of mine’s psychologist father says people are using the internet more and more instead of true therapy. There isn’t anything wrong with someone who is grieving.  There isn’t a cure for grief except grieving.  You can find books and counselors, steps, setbacks, groups, stages, and seasons.   Check out these little drawings about grief.  HuffPo Illustrations  If you rush it or pretend: it will hit you when you are not prepared.  What follows a loss?  Grief and recovery. It is the next step. Others might say rude/inappropriate things because they don’t know what you know.  Don’t compare your grief to others seemingly similar situation.  Grief is personal, it is hard, it takes time.  NO matter if you lost a loved one, a job, a home, a family or a relationship.  

Make no mistake, life is different now.   This is one of those markers where you measure life before and after.  I won’t tell you it will go away. Now, with all my heart, I tell you.. it does get easier. I promise.