Brick by Brick

“A successful person is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at her.” – Bernadette Kelliher

For women in leadership, the journey often comes with uninvited commentary and unwarranted scrutiny. We’re navigating spaces still shaped by traditional, male-dominated norms—and not everyone is comfortable when we show up with vision, voice, and a different kind of power.

Sometimes, they throw bricks.

Bricks of doubt.
Bricks of skepticism.
Bricks labeled too emotional, too direct, not enough, or too much.

But here’s the thing: we get to decide what we do with those bricks.

We can choose to be crushed by them—or we can use them to build.
Not a wall to hide behind, but a path forward.

Our work speaks louder than their worry.
Our character outshines their commentary.

As women who lead, we must keep choosing authenticity over approval, courage over comfort, and purpose over performative perfection.

It’s okay to pick up the brick that’s thrown at you. Just don’t carry it too long.
Place it behind you—like a stepping stone on the dirt road—and keep walking forward.

Let the trail you build be the one that others one day follow.

Because the legacy isn’t built from avoiding bricks—it’s built from knowing exactly where to place them.

There’s a particular energy in rooms filled mostly with women. Supportive. Strategic. Sometimes a little spicy. And while a dash of testosterone can help balance the vibe, the truth is: there’s something powerful about women coming together with purpose.

But let’s be clear: if you don’t value what you bring to the table—who will?

Women are constantly underestimated. Told to be humble. That confidence equals arrogance. That we should be grateful just to be in the room.

That’s not just imposter syndrome whispering in your ear—that’s the system, reminding you that this room wasn’t built with you in mind. You’re not imagining it. The rules were never made for us, and yet, here we are—breaking them anyway.

And when you finally do speak up? There’s an unspoken rule: you’d better smile while doing it. Wrap your truth in a happiness sandwich—compliment, concern, compliment—so no one gets uncomfortable.

Because when a man is direct, he’s seen as confident. When a woman is direct? She’s rude. Abrasive. Emotional. Or my personal favorite—intimidating. As if that’s a personality flaw.

Let’s just call it what it is: emotional labor gymnastics just to be heard.

Here’s the good news: you don’t owe anyone a bow-wrapped version of your brilliance.

You can be clear without being cruel. You can be kind without being complicit. You can be powerful without padding every sentence in fluff to make others comfortable. You can—and should—say what needs to be said. Period.

I’ve been called intimidating more than once. I used to flinch when I heard it—like it meant I needed to dial something down. But I’ve learned that what they call intimidating is usually just a woman who is clear. A woman who isn’t performing. A woman who has stopped twisting herself into someone else’s version of “acceptable.”

And you know what? That’s their discomfort, not mine.

Trailblazing doesn’t mean playing nice. It means showing up, knowing your worth, and leading anyway. It does come with a cost—burnout, anxiety, isolation. Being the first or only in the room can feel empowering and exhausting. There’s often no blueprint, no permission slip, no fallback plan.

But when we lead anyway—when we lean into our strengths like emotional intelligence, authenticity, and agility—something incredible happens.

We don’t just survive. We thrive. And the companies that embrace us? They do, too.

Companies with women in executive roles are 25% more likely to outperform financially. Organizations with at least 30% women in leadership are 12 times more likely to rank in the top 20% for financial performance. Women-led companies saw a 223% return on equity over a decade—compared to 130% for men-led firms. Women-owned businesses now make up 42% of all U.S. companies—but still receive only 2% of venture capital funding. Teams with diverse leadership, including women, report 25% higher employee satisfaction and retention.

These aren’t just stats. They’re proof. We don’t make companies cute—we make them better.

To the woman reading this: You’re not too loud. You’re not too ambitious. You’re not too direct. You are too powerful to play small. Too impactful to water yourself down. If you’ve been shrinking or second-guessing or waiting for permission, consider this your green light. Speak up. Build boldly. And if there’s no seat for you? Pull out the power tools. We’ll build something better, together.

You’re not lucky to be here. You worked for it. You earned it. You belong.

And let’s be honest: we can build the table. We can build the chairs. And maybe—just maybe—if you haven’t found your seat yet… it’s because you’re not looking at the chairman’s chair.

Girl.

They’re lucky to have you. Don’t forget it.

Because really… can you blaze a trail without some fire or char?

Journal Prompts:

1. Where have I been softening my voice to make others more comfortable?
2. What would I say if I removed the “happiness sandwich” filter from my message?
3. Where am I trailblazing—and how can I offer myself more grace in the process?