The Fire Out Back

It’s a beautiful house.

Top of the line, built on vision and promise.
Every detail speaks to excellence—the kind of place people line up to tour. The kind you post about. The kind you brag about being part of.

Except… the back porch keeps catching on fire.

It’s not a one-time thing. It’s not a freak accident.
It’s a recurring problem—a quiet ember that keeps flaring up.
We rush to put it out, every time.
We send towels. We call friends. We say “thank goodness it didn’t spread.”

But the fire keeps coming back.
And while everyone’s out front welcoming new guests and clinking glasses, a few of us have been circling the back, checking the pipes, squinting through the smoke, trying to figure out why it keeps happening.

And one day, someone finally sees it.

There’s a gas leak.
It’s not sabotage.
It’s not intentional.
But it’s real.
And if we don’t fix it, the house we’re so proud of won’t just lose its back porch. It’ll lose everything.

But here’s the twist:
The person who names the gas leak?
Often becomes the problem.
Not the hero. Not the helper. Not the steward.

Because the truth is, it’s easier to celebrate what’s working than to confront what’s broken.
It’s easier to polish the front windows than to pause the party and shut off the gas.

But leadership—real leadership—means being willing to say, “Hey… we’ve got to fix this now, even if it slows the tour.”
It means being willing to listen to the people walking barefoot across scorched floorboards while others are still popping champagne.

Because someone has to put the fire out.
Someone has to stop clapping long enough to trace the spark.
Someone has to follow the scent of gas to its source.
And someone has to be bold enough—not just to see the problem, but to solve it.

That kind of leadership? It’s not always loud.
It’s not always thanked.
And it’s definitely not always wrapped in a compliment sandwich.

But it’s one of the reasons the house stays standing.

Journal Prompts:

• Have you ever been the one to notice the fire while others celebrated out front?
• What’s your relationship with being “the truth-teller”? How do you balance courage and connection?
• Where in your life or leadership are you being called to trace the gas leak—not just put out the flames?

Try This: Write a short letter to your past self in a season when you weren’t heard. What would you affirm in her now?

Resource Corner:

• Brené Brown’s Dare to Lead podcast episode: “Armored vs. Daring Leadership”
• Esther Perel on feedback and relational intelligence (check out her TED talk for a 10-minute recharge)
• My own piece: “I’ll Clap Loud Enough So You Don’t Notice Who Isn’t”

Let the house stand, but let it be sound. And if you’re the one holding the extinguisher? You’re not alone.

Bonus Reflections:

• Naming the fire doesn’t make you dramatic. It makes you early.
• Some of us are leading and extinguishing, advocating and absorbing, solving and softening—just to keep the mission alive.
• It’s funny how people love your spark until it ignites awareness. Then suddenly, you’re “too much.” But too much for who? Too much for what?

You can host the party or you can stop the fire.
But don’t ask the person holding the extinguisher to smile while doing both.